Grief. Grace. Gratitude.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day that invites us to reflect on gratitude and blessings, much like the entire month of November, often known as the month of gratitude. It’s the time of year when we’re encouraged to focus on all the things we’re thankful for. But can I be honest? Gratitude doesn’t always come easily, especially during a season that can feel heavy.
For many of us, this time of year is bittersweet. The holidays have a way of shining a spotlight on what we’ve lost, who we’ve lost, and the places in our hearts that still feel tender. Instead of just joy and thanksgiving, it can feel like grief is sitting at the table with us.
I didn’t really want to write this. Grief isn’t something we love to talk about. It’s uncomfortable, to say the least. But God laid it on my heart, and I know there’s someone who needs to hear this: there’s grace for grief.
What Is Grief?
We often associate grief with the loss of a loved one—and yes, that’s a big part of it. I’ve felt that grief firsthand. Just a few days ago, I found myself crying over my grandma as if she had just passed, even though it’s been 20 years. Or the pang I feel when I look into my son’s face and see a face that looks so much like my late granddad Isaac’s staring back at me. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
But grief isn’t just about death.
We grieve friendships that ended, the life we thought we’d have, and the plans that didn’t work out. We grieve who we used to be or the dreams we’ve had to let go of. There’s even this strange, anticipatory grief—like when I think about the reality that one day, my kids might have to live without me, or I without them.
During this season—with its shorter days, the pressure of the holidays, and the year coming to a close—those feelings of loss seem to rise to the surface.
God Is Near to the Brokenhearted
Here’s the thing about grief: it’s a part of life. If we weren’t meant to experience it, God wouldn’t have made a provision for it. But He did. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Think about that. God, in His infinite wisdom, knew we would face brokenheartedness. He knew we would have seasons when our spirits felt crushed. And He made sure we wouldn’t have to face those moments alone.
That’s how mindful He is of us. His grace meets us right in the middle of our grief:
It’s being in the grocery store on a random Tuesday and hearing your loved one’s favorite song play over the speaker.
It’s the old photo of a friend that pops up in your phone memories, taking you back to a specific moment and making you smile at the fun you used to have.
It’s catching a familiar scent out of nowhere that instantly reminds you of someone you love.
It’s the unexpected provision that comes after losing a job or the new love that finds you after heartbreak.
It’s the positive pregnancy test after so much loss.
That’s God’s grace in action. It’s what Tasha Cobbs Leonard calls being “gracefully broken.” Even in the breaking, God holds us together.
Grief and Gratitude Can Coexist
We often rush grief, feeling the need to dust ourselves off quickly and get back to it—not to wallow, but to move on…to “keep living”. It’s as if acknowledging our pain means we’re not appreciative of what we still have. But the truth is, grief and gratitude can coexist.
I can grieve the loss of a loved one and still be grateful that they’re at peace, no longer weighed down by the struggles of this world.
I can be grateful for the memories we shared and still ache because they’re not here in the physical.
I can grieve the plans I made that didn’t work out and still be grateful that God’s plans are better than mine.
I can know that a friendship had to end and still miss my friend.
The presence of grief doesn’t cancel out gratitude. Don’t let anyone rush your grieving process or make you feel like you’re ungrateful because you’re grieving. Don’t do it to yourself, either.
Grace for the Holiday Season
If you’re grieving this holiday season—whether it’s been days, months, or decades—know this: there’s grace for you as you grieve. Feel what you need to feel. Take your time. Grieve what’s broken, but hold onto gratitude for what remains. And know that God is with you through it all.
God doesn’t just want our gratitude—He welcomes our grievances, too. He’s not afraid of our hurt. In fact, He invites us to bring it to Him.
As you grieve, let gratitude be your anchor. Gratitude doesn’t erase the pain, but it reminds us of God’s goodness even in the middle of it. It helps us see His blessings, His grace, and His presence, even when life feels heavy.
A Prayer for the Grieving
Dear God,
Thank You for being near to the brokenhearted and saving those who are crushed in spirit. Thank You for understanding what it means to grieve, for sending Jesus, who felt every human emotion we feel, including sorrow. Thank You for making provision for our grief long before we ever had a reason to grieve.
I pray now for those who are grieving this season. For the child missing their parent. For the parent missing their child. The wife missing her husband or vice versa. For the one grieving the end of a relationship or the loss of a dream. For anyone carrying the weight of grief right now. Lord, remind them that it’s okay to say, “This hurts,” and still say, “God, I thank You.”
Thank You for being the kind of God who doesn’t just break us but does so with grace. Thank You for reminding us that we’re not alone in our grief and that there’s always room for gratitude, even in the midst of pain.
Amen.
